it feels sad,
when you have time,
and we don't have us.


your name.

every cell in my body keeps on calling your name
even in my sleep.


sunday.for ears

our sundays were beautiful
so i made a special one for you this sunday
for your ears :)



i just can't stop fighting for us,
coz we're worth fighting for.
as long as i can still do something,
why wouldn't i do it?


always.already gone

can't believe that i remember 
every detail
every reason
every answer for my every why
in time when you already gone.



don't do.if you.

but at the end,
i don't want you to do something you don't want to.
i heart our times, walrus.



to be sincerely happy

that's all.
i'll keep on repeating this in my prayers. 


don't pretend.there's hope

no no no
i don't want you pretending
you've done too much, i don't want you to be one again
i'm asking for you to believe
just believe

don't give up on hope.
been a very long way,
we'll soon be normal.


not now.or never

it left me with only two options,
not now.



maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down
lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind
-- walrus

'cause lately something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life,
without you I am breaking down
wake me, let me see the daylight
save me from this half-life
let's you and I escape
escape from time

come on lets fall in love again
-- whale

duncan sheik.


escape.from music

it's hard to escape music
when that's what you do to make a living
you wanna break from all of those music
and clear your head
and remember nothing bout you.


i.want us

i don't want us to fix 'us'
i just want us to be that two strangers meeting up by accident
and starting all over again by saying
"who the hell are you?"


bestfriend said.

"when you will always be you. and he will always be him.
things will always be like this."
"but you don't want you not to be you and he not to be him,right?"

bestfriend explained in a very logical matters.


logic vs idea.

i know this decision is logical
i know it is
but i just can't bear the idea



do you know how frustrating it is
not to be able to keep the person you love




the memories are yours to keep
don't let it affect your present
the memories are yours to keep
enjoying them is your secret,
tell nobody.



how much.i miss the rainbow

i dreamed about the ocean wave in rainbow colors.



when the hardest decision was about chocolate or vanilla ice cream.



can you imagine how it feels
to be asleep for repeatedly just 5 minutes
and keep waking up every 5 minutes
with the same nightmare you can't seem to escape.

horrible.horrible night it was.



the feelings i have are still so unstable
hard to keep it up

but it's harder to keep yours stable.


that day.won't come

someday i'll get tired of you
someday i won't understand
someday i'll say i'll leave
i wish that day won't have to come.



keeping them.in my life

i made excuses for them
in order to keep them in my life.

that's just how i cope with things.
how's yours?




it is.a was

i was missing you badly and i was wanting to meet you badly

now i'm scared that i will let my feelings out.
i'm too disappointed to feel happy.


freak folk.

what would i want?

-- Animal Collective



"please do understand"
do you understand?



the thoughts of.losing you

you are not the center of my world.

if we part, there will be a huge hole inside my heart,
that feels like losing your other hand.
and the world will tumbling down,
for sometime.

but that will be all.

you, will lose someone you never thought you're needed for life.
your lost.



forgive and move on with your past

take care of your present
so it can make to the future.



me, only
and only me

is not enough for you?



write.some love

in the huge need some hand-writing love letters.



i always hate the truth.

and the worst,
i hate to murder the truth.


walking.after you

Tonight I'm tangled in my blanket of clouds dreaming aloud.
Things just won't do without you, matter of fact.

i'm on your back.



i thought we've passed the insecurity issues.


things.you see

blizzard views
it's friday.



some drawings.

let's get back to do some drawings

too much to think.


sunset.from my window

how i love to draw (again).
pencil. drawing pen. marker.


take care.of

take care of your dollars,
and cents will take care of themselves.

one of my dearest friend said.
when i was about to leave the playground.

thank you Andari :)


i should.

be a rainbow in someone else's cloud
-- maya angelou's

a pretty quote a dear friend gave to me

thanks lala.